Dragon Roots

We were soaring high above the clouds when I first saw the peaks of the Himalayas. There, high up in the clouds, the stark darkness of the mountains cut through our soft cushion and reached for us. And we, tiny little creatures in a plane flew straight toward them.

The Captain actually came on to the intercom to inform us that we would be landing in 15 minutes, and by the by, if we see mountains closer to us than we ever have before, please do no be alarmed. Well, given that we had just dove through the cloud cover and were now weaving our way in between the mountains, this was a wee challenge. But it was also and incredible rush; I couldn't believe that people actually live here, fly planes here, farm and create families here on these inclines, this land of edges.

From Paro airport, which is the tiniest and most quaint airport I have ever seen in my life, we made our way to Thimpu. We have been here now at Dragon Roots Hotel for almost two weeks; eating chilies as vegetables (ema datse), drinking distilled rice wine with cooked egg and butter (arra), learning the basics of the national language (Dzongka), completing paperwork and preparing for our adjustment to our postings, the education system, and the culture.

We've met the minister of education and had dinners with all sorts of "important" people. This country is really funny, its all about the privilege of being here, and of loving it here, and of being able to SURVIVE here. I'm not joking! We have been buying supplies for the last week, trying to put together what we need for our rural postings. Water boilers and filters, blankets, dishes, heaters, food and school stuff... it never ends. We are trying to prepare for torrential monsoon rains, incredible cold, lack of electricity, rats, bugs, tree leeches, no fridges, teaching 6 days a week, loneliness, it goes on.

They are worried about me because they stuck me in the coldest place (being a winnipegger), so I am buying a woodstove to have installed in my apartment. I am looking forward to it. I cant believe this is actually happening. Sometimes I wake in the morning and feel frightened by the proximity of the mountains. It cuts a panic deep into me, thinking of the isolation and the ease of being forgotten here in this crevice, and it goes down deep. It feels fierce, like their angry gods painted on everything and the dragons everywhere. It feels like I have crawled into the mouth of a dragon.

Blue Blue Sky

Inside this joy, I am sometimes sad about my constant state of change. Of travel, of obsession with culture, and most of all, my affinity with leaving.
I just don't know any way else to be.

I am fueled and propelled by the dreams of my family and friends. By the way they see me, changing...

I come back, then I dream bigger. Then I go, come back, and dream bigger.

Now I meet others who have aged doing this, and I am afraid I am as lawless as them...As temporary? As ink-less as this damn computer.

So glad I came out to the island. On the boat ride back, I could see off to an edge of the world I had never seen before. Where the sea and the sky meet, in an infinite sparkle, and I am swallowed.

And on the beach, I stare off into the ocean for hours. Like the others here, given a rare chance to be okay with life, with all my experiences and thoughts. How can you not be okay when staring into the twinkling 10 karat ocean under the blue, blue sky?

The sand here is so fine it slips into every crevice and coats the skin a soft white. And nothing annoys me, not the mould on my roof, not the sand in my bed, not even the burning garbage outside of my bungalow.

This is Thailand. Just smile, and every little thing will be alright.

Waiting in Bangkok

It is not clear to me what I am waiting for either, except to get myself physically to Bhutan. I think I am already there mentally.

It is like waiting for a needle. Or perhaps something more pleasant. There is anxiousness though; I am eager to have a home in which to unpack my bags of insanity.

Bangkok is a good place to wait. There are always things to do; attempt the chilies in the street food, navigate the used-shoes, stolen phones and Buddha relics in the markets, watch a beautiful breasted transexual Celine Dion gracefully stave off drunks while lip singing in a late night drag show. You know, whatever...