Cow Nudging, Icky Tourists and the Underwear Thief

Encouraged by my dear friend Kuni, who tastefully requested that I write shorter blogs so he can read them before bed (I think he actually meant retirement), and inspired by my newest intriguing friend Zane, who managed to post brief but witty blogs while walking the entire Pacific Crest Trail in less than 5 months, I shall keep this blog short and concise.

I’m off to a great start.

The following are a list of things in my Bhutan-life I would like to draw your attention to.

EATING ROCKS

Rocks in my rice. Curse my spoiled and pampered food existence prior to moving here: who picked all the rocks out of my imported rice in Canada? I want to know, because this is a noble job. There is nothing more frightening than enjoying a bowl full of tasty rice, chomping away, when all of a sudden your eyes are vibrating because your teeth are grinding on what feels like something that should never be chewed, ever. Trying to discreetly find a small rock in a mouthful of chewed up food is not possible either.

NUDGING COWS WITH CARS

Charly does this.

I have never actually met anyone else who does. It plays out exactly as it sounds, with Charly inching forward slowly to nudge the stubborn bulls, cows and even calves that don’t like moving off the road for anyone or anything. Out of all the methods I have tried or seen used (yelling, honking, waving hands out the window), cow nudging is by far the most effective.

TOURISTS- THE ICKY SIDE

To the random tourists who snap photos of my students without asking, as if you were observing exotic life in an aquarium, I wish you were aware that my students “want their pictures back”.

And to the wife of a doctor who reached across a group of yearlong volunteers to bring the plate of Swiss cheese and apples closer to her because “we had no idea how long it had been since she had eaten these things”... A weaker person than I might have slapped you. Um… Two weeks? That’s about how long your tour is here, right?

TOURISTS- THE AMAZING SIDE

To the Alaskans who brought Carson and I out for beers, enthusiastically encouraged us to keep traveling, teaching and loving each other, and even offered their hotel shower to me when I was living without running water- you were my first and most positive experience with other foreigners in Bhutan.

To the group of Canadian ex- ambassadors and doctors who fed me, took a genuine interest in my experience here, loaded me up with school supplies and even ran out to their car to get me their newest Macleans and Walrus magazines in an effort to keep me connected to my home country- you are amazing.

To the warm Montrealite who surprised me this morning by coming all the way up to the school just to meet the crazy Canadian teacher posted here, and to the Mexican/American Reiki Master/Chef whose support and warmth in one night was angelic in nature- beyond earth and sky, I thank you.

TREKKING POLE SPINACH

I understand vertically suspending a trekking pole from florescent light bulbs above a ceramic heater in order to dry spinach for the winter is in no way similar to the traditional way of laying spinach on bamboo above the woodstove. But I would like to state for the record that it works.

THE RAT

I believe it was just one intruder, one time, which makes me luckier than Lynda or Jigme, who have both amicably decided to co-reside with their rodents. The rat snuck in while I was off traveling the countryside with Carson and his brother. The rat stole one of my best pairs of underwear, a potato and a tomato. The rat took a small bite of the potato, hollowed out the tomato and pooped all over my underwear.

My sinkhole is now covered with two heavy rocks.

My underwear is in the trash.